All tagged sacrifice
Not going to lie, I was really down for months as I steadily progressed towards this situation. There were some really dark moments where I questioned everything I was doing. Were all these sacrifices really going to be worth it? Would I ever get to that moment where I paid off my credit card? Would I ever know life without debt? Would I ever move forward with my life again?
With my interest in writing, it probably comes as no surprise that I had a blog as soon as they had been invented. “Weblogs” were one of the first flexes the average, everyday internet user had to begin expressing ideas that were never going to get published in mainstream media.
It wasn’t that I was onto the next chapter of my life when the e-mail came through. It’s hard to describe where my head was at: I was in Canada holding my mom’s hand during her first round of chemo. I mentioned it to her in a passing comment and both of us had left it at that. The excitement of finally being free wasn’t there. The people I thought I would celebrate the transition into my new life didn’t want to come with me, and step by step, more parts of my old life were left behind.
I recently relistened to Dave Ramsey’s book “Total Money Makeover” because I remember it being pivotal to how I spent my money after completing University for my nursing degree. At the time I was $40,000 and then some in debt because of student loans despite living at home for most of it.
TL;DR I am super broke now, I need some motivation, and I’m working hard to get my finances sorted out again.
When I look at my goals from 2018, so many of them were not relevant to my life. I just didn’t know it at the time. I was still trying to hold onto my old life. My pre-divorced life. My life of youth and vitality. My life of potential and opportunity. The goals I had set in 2018 were an attempt to recapture a part of my life that I had lost and wasn’t ready to admit to it being changed and gone forever.
If the first half of 2020 was slow to start and almost halted in its tracks, the second half of the year went by at lightening speed.
It’s my birthday. I’m turned 34 yesterday.
It’s the first birthday I had without my mother, and it was so different:
