Here We Are

If the first half of 2020 was slow to start and almost halted in its tracks, the second half of the year went by at lightening speed.

I moved from Newquay to St Austell in August, only to put all my stuff in storage by December. The travel situation to Morocco still didn’t look ideal when the borders opened in September, so I waited until December to book a flight. I surfed, booked surf clubs, and surf weekends.

I injured my ankle while I was surfing in Croyde and could only take a few days off before having to be on my feet again. I worked every night shift I could, even some day shifts so I could put enough money away for my intended extended trip to Morocco. I worked so much I cried myself to sleep from exhaustion and was so exhausted I could barely sleep.

I stressed about getting my surf boards and luggage out to Morocco because the airline didn’t give the information or any transparent information about costs, weights, and sizes. I nearly cried again when I realized I was spending the night in an abandoned airport terminal and no one was there to help me carry my luggage to the next terminal. I cried after I got off the phone with the airline representative that said my flight wasn’t cancelled.

And I didn’t believe I was actually going to make it to Morocco until I sat in that plane and it took off.

There was even a moment of doubt that the plane would take off because it took nearly 90 minutes for the plane to take off. Just long enough for me to miss my connection from Casablanca to Agadir.

Myself and another woman trapsed around the airport to find the office where they would sort out a hotel stay and breakfast and get me onto the next flight. I made my flight but my surfboards did not. They arrived 2 days later.

I spent my first week in Morocco sleeping, napping, and eating. Only from the second week did I start going for walks and sneaking in some swims in secret locations. Only now, the end of my third week in Morocco am I feeling like a human again: Motivation, inspiration, and determination are starting to come back, my persistent ankle injury is starting to feel better, and I’m sleeping through the night again. I forgot what it was like to eat and sleep at regular times was like.

This is my first break, my first real chunk of time off since I started working in February. I have never worked this much continuously since I started working. I’ve always had breaks here and there, long weekends, and generally time to chill.

Was it worth it?

At the moment: yes.

After 10 months of being separated I have been unceremoniously (read: forgot to pack extra underwear in my carry-on) reunited with my partner. I am living with him in a flat that overlooks the ocean and I watch golden sunsets every evening. I get to eat not only regularly but home cooked meals every day. And I still get to walk along the ocean, if only on the boardwalk, every day. The wifi is shocking but at least I have it to message the important people in my life. And I left the UK just as the Coronavirus cases are surging.

Sunset over Devil’s Rock, Tamraght, Taghazout Bay, Morocco

Morocco has once again stopped travel to and from the UK. Indefinitely.

This is OK at the moment as I planned on staying here for nearly 3 months anyway. But there’s a nagging question at the back of my mind, “What happens if I can’t get back?” Because it’s not just Morocco that’s stopped travel to the UK, it’s nearly 50.

What are my options? What can I do? Where can I go? And the most nagging question of all, what do I do about money?

Even though it was one of my goals to have a cash emergency fund of 1000 pounds, I haven’t had one for the last 18 months. What was the point if I was always travelling around? It’s less safe to carry around cash than to just keep it in the bank, nevermind that the COVID-19 pandemic started a movement to be cashless exclusively.

I had saved and saved for this trip, but I never managed to reach my emergency fund goal before saving on top of that. The holiday pay I received was pretty sad, so I am already drawing on my emergency fund savings. While my partner and I are being quite disciplined with our money, bills still need to be paid, and with no income, the money seems to disappear in a blink.

Everyday this is on my mind. Everyday I check to see how bad it’s in the UK to see what the likelihood of returning in a month might be. Everday I reaffirm that even though travel isn’t possible now, I will have to take the first opportunity I can, even if it’s before the 3 months I had hoped to stay here for.

It’s the responsible, practical choice.

And I hate it.

I know it’s the only way I’m going to achieve my goals and anything else in my life while COVID-19 and its variants are still hampering tourism and travel.

So here we are.