Financial Check-In: Debt Free
As of June 28 I am debt free.
It’s taken me 10 months, but I finally paid off my credit card.
I was speaking to a colleague of mine back in December and I mentioned that I was in “a lot of debt.” It was around 2000 pounds at the point, and between flying to Morocco with its subsequent border closure and the pressure Christmas was putting on finances, my debt felt like a struggle.
This colleague told me that my debt was nothing and I shouldn’t worry. His debt was over 7000 pounds and he asked the question “Is it really debt if you have no way of paying it off?”
I was appalled at this abhorrent attitude towards debt. Not only did he have the means to pay it off, he was choosing not to because it was interfering with his lifestyle of spending money on instant gratification. This colleague also clearly didn’t understand how restricted to work and financial institutions he was: they controlled his time and his opportunities such as future loans, home ownership, and further education.
What frightens me is that I’m sure there are many more people who hold this attitude and live their lives above their means.
It is not easy to live below your means, or even within your means sometimes. It’s easy to feel more restricted when you do, or like you’re missing out on something or some event.
I certainly did.
I made a lot of sacrifices over the last 10 months because I wasn’t willing to compromise achieving my goal. And It was a lot of sacrifice: I worked a lot of shifts; I declined a lot of social activities because it would cost me money; And my health suffered: everything from my hair to my weight to my mental health.
Not making any compromises put me at odds with friends and societal expectations. I made decisions that maximized my earnings and minimized my outgoings in order to pay my bills and pay off my debt as quickly as I could. To do this, I made a difficult decision to live out of my car, pet sit when I can, and find accommodation weekly so I have had no fixed address. While many are not able to live like this, the choice to live in a vehicle is not as extreme or outlandish as it used to be. Since COVID-19 lockdowns, more and more people are choosing this path, finances being a big consideration.
Not going to lie, I was really down for months as I steadily progressed towards this situation. There were some really dark moments where I questioned everything I was doing. Were all these sacrifices really going to be worth it? Would I ever get to that moment where I paid off my credit card? Would I ever know life without debt? Would I ever move forward with my life again?
A lot of people like to give advice like, “just enjoy the little things in life.” What little things? There are no creature comforts like a favourite pillow to chill with, or the ability to have a bath and relax. When you’re so exhausted from working you just feel like a corpse in bed. It would take more effort to peel myself out of bed than to just lay there, so going for walks were also mentally taxing. There was little joy there.
My other favourite advice was “you just need to manifest”. Manifest my goal? Wasn’t I already doing that by focusing everything I had on completing it? No, I was doing it wrong, I was too negative in my approach….
I don’t know, it worked didn’t it?
A debt free reality has finally come to fruition, and it’s been such a liberating feeling not to have this burden over my head. The feeling of existential overwhelm has massively subsided and for the first time in over a year and I feel like I can actually do something with my life.
Not only do I feel like I can finally move forward with my life, I am actually moving forward with my life. I am able to take steps in the direction I want to be going in. And for the first time in 5 years, I am able to make some tentative long term plans.
