All tagged family
When I broke up with my ex-husband, I swore I was never going to get married again. I was never going to twist and shape my life around another human being. And I was certainly never going to move to another country for another person again.
I ate my words.
Because I got married again.
It wasn’t that I was onto the next chapter of my life when the e-mail came through. It’s hard to describe where my head was at: I was in Canada holding my mom’s hand during her first round of chemo. I mentioned it to her in a passing comment and both of us had left it at that. The excitement of finally being free wasn’t there. The people I thought I would celebrate the transition into my new life didn’t want to come with me, and step by step, more parts of my old life were left behind.
When I look at my goals from 2018, so many of them were not relevant to my life. I just didn’t know it at the time. I was still trying to hold onto my old life. My pre-divorced life. My life of youth and vitality. My life of potential and opportunity. The goals I had set in 2018 were an attempt to recapture a part of my life that I had lost and wasn’t ready to admit to it being changed and gone forever.
I thought I knew what homesickness was when I moved to the U.K. from Canada. But this is a new kind of homesickness I wasn’t prepared for: It’s a weird mix of missing my mom and missing my husband.
